I didn’t always know that. I used to think that I was exempt from the rules before I became a mother. I thought that a child’s refusal to eat perfectly healthy, good food was a sign of poor child-rearing. This would not affect me as a food writer whose love for food is genetic. I was adamant, but undeservedly so, that my child’s taste buds would be as diverse as the Great Plains. As vibrant as Van Gogh. As thoughtful as sonnet. Well. When my daughter was only three years old, she became an internet sensation when a social media personality saw her ham-fisting pickles at the farmers’ market and eating them like ice cream cones. The comments gushed about how good she was at eating, and that “Pickle Girl,” was their “spirit animals.” Lies! I screamed inside my head. All lies! In reality, Pickle Girl’s growth curve had abruptly shifted months earlier. It was a daily battle to get her to eat (pickles aside), and one doctor suggested that I stop giving her anything other than red meat to try to increase her weight. I refused to smile to the woman and instead smothered everything my daughter ate with butter and oil. There was no sudden change, no moment when she thought, You know, my mother shouldn’t have to consider throwing herself into traffic every time I refuse another homemade meal. The shift happened gradually, with small successes. We never stopped giving her small bites of foods that were frightening to her, often accompanied with various forms of bribery. We began planning family meals based on foods we knew she enjoyed, gradually expanding her repertoire. We also began cooking with her. After a few months of this, the Bon Appetit team offered me a Blue Apron meal code for free and asked if my family would like to try it. Was it a good plan? Here’s the thing: cooking with a child who has a fear of most ingredients can be a logistical challenge. There are plenty of “Ew! yucky!” And “Get it off my face!” “Get it off me!” And, of course, so many tears. I developed a strategy of choosing recipes strategically, usually a variation of a Safe Food. I also limited the amount of raw beef (a nonstarter), and portioned out the ingredients. This made it easier for her and showed her that we weren’t hiding anything.
