Actor Nakuul Mehta recently opened up about fatherhood on The Ranveer Show, offering a thought-provoking perspective on what it truly means to be a present, conscious parent.. Reflecting on his journey, he shared, “Sabse pehle apna main hatana padhta hai to give love without thinking. The second is to be fully present. Bahut mushkil hota hai, in the world jaha sirf distraction hai. And third is to really love their mother. Bachha iski wajah se aaya hai, agar hum ise water nahi kargengey, ise strengthen nahi karengey, toh all of that will not really blossom, toh use yaad dilana ki teri maa pehle.”. His three pillars — removing ego, being fully present, and nurturing the partnership with the child’s mother — resonate deeply with modern parenting psychology. But how do these ideas hold up from a clinical lens?. Arpita Kohli, Psychologist & Counsellor at PSRI Hospital, Delhi, explains why these seemingly simple principles are foundational to healthy child development.. The role of ego in fatherhood. According to Kohli, reducing ego in fatherhood is “extremely important because it allows a father to respond to the child’s needs with empathy rather than control or authority.”. However, Kohli cautions against the idea of complete self-erasure. “Completely selfless love can become unhealthy if a father suppresses his own needs, identity, or boundaries. Healthy parenting requires balance — being deeply loving while maintaining self-respect and emotional well-being.”. View this post on Instagram. ‘To be fully present’. In an era of constant notifications and distractions, being emotionally present is harder than ever. But it may be one of the most critical aspects of parenting, suggests Kohli.. “A father’s emotional presence significantly shapes a child’s attachment style,” she explains. When fathers are attentive and responsive, children are more likely to develop secure attachment — the foundation of confidence, resilience, and healthy emotional regulation.. Story continues below this ad. Children who feel seen and heard are better equipped to manage stress and navigate relationships. On the flip side, if a father is physically present but emotionally distracted, it can lead to insecurity or anxiety later in life. Presence, therefore, isn’t just about time spent; it’s about emotional engagement, she adds.. ALSO READ | Nakuul Mehta opens up about the ‘pain of being the second preferred parent. ‘Teri maa pehle’. Perhaps the most striking part of Nakuul’s reflection is his emphasis on nurturing the relationship with the child’s mother. He likens it to watering a plant — if the foundation isn’t strengthened, nothing truly blossoms.. “The quality of the parental relationship directly influences a child’s sense of emotional security,” says Kohli. When children witness warmth, respect, and cooperation between parents, they internalise a sense of stability. This supports emotional development, social co
