Balika Vadhu actor Neha Marda recently shared that, before her 2012 wedding to Patna-based businessman Ayushman Agrawal, she took a “secret” trip with him during their 9-month courtship. “So the engagement happened, and we had the entire nine months of courtship time. Hope my parents don’t watch this! Actually, they don’t even know what I am actually going to tell you. During the courtship, Ayush gave me a surprise that I was not expecting. So, we went to Goa. It’s not what you are thinking,” she told Hauterrfly.. She continued, “We went to Goa, and we had a great time there. We went with my friends there…Smita Bansal and her husband. I didn’t even tell my mom. That one lie I told my mom, and that too at the cost of getting married to this guy… that was when I got to know how caring Ayush is. Especially, arranged marriages during the courtship…those moments are very beautiful…most precious moments of your life.”. Neha Marda went with Smita Bansal (Photo: Balika Vadhu). Taking a cue from the actor-turned-entrepreneur’s candid admission, we have insight into how courtship matters.. In arranged marriages, the courtship period is often the only structured window where two near-strangers are expected to assess compatibility for a lifetime commitment. Families have agreed. The match seems suitable. The wedding is likely. Yet emotionally, the two individuals are still building their own narrative. “That space is fragile and powerful. In many traditional setups, engagement creates legitimacy but not complete freedom. There is permission to talk, meet, and explore. But there are also invisible boundaries. Social expectations. Family honour. The subtle pressure to behave ‘appropriately’,” expressed Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist and life coach.. Which is why moments of spontaneous, unscripted interaction during courtship become priceless. “Psychologically, relationships are not tested in formal meetings. They are revealed in informal spaces,” shared Delnna.. How does the person behave when plans change?. How do they treat waiters, strangers, and friends?. Are they attentive, dismissive, relaxed, or controlling?. Do they care about your comfort?. A short trip, even with friends present, often becomes a microcosm of married life. Travel exposes temperament. It shows patience levels, adaptability, and emotional maturity. It allows one to see the partner beyond curated conversations, noted Delnna.. Story continues below this ad. Also Read | Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan admit to writing letters to each other on every birthday: ‘And now, I have a box full’. That is why such memories feel precious. “They represent the first time the relationship felt like “ours,” not “family-approved.” There is also a psychological layer around secrecy. When a woman says she did not tell her parents, it reflects the tension between autonomy and obedience. In many Indian families, daughters are protected intensely before mar
