Suniel Shetty on why it’s important to stay close to your ageing parents (Photo: Instagram/suniel.shetty). During a conversation with Raj Shamani, actor Suniel Shetty spoke about an important but often overlooked aspect of caring for ageing parents — being present without taking away their independence. Recalling his decision to live close to his parents while still giving them space, Shetty said: “I didn’t buy a house, I bought a home because it was attached to dad’s and mom’s house, so I wanted to give them their privacy, not because I had a family. Because otherwise, they are always compromising. Dost aate toh woh room chale jaate, that’s a typical parent. I do it today also, Ahaan says Papa, sit down, no, no, Mana and I say, let’s go. So I bought the house opposite, we were connected, yet disconnected.”. Experts say this idea of being close but not intrusive plays a crucial role in the emotional well-being of older adults. According to psychiatrist Dr Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant – Psychiatry at Aakash Healthcare, maintaining both proximity and independence is key to healthy ageing.. She explains that ageing parents benefit from having their children nearby, but preserving autonomy is equally important. “A balance between proximity and independence is extremely important for ageing parents,” Dr Shankar said. “Living close to family provides emotional reassurance, practical help during emergencies and opportunities for regular communication.”. However, she emphasised that personal space should never be overlooked.. “Maintaining autonomy allows older adults to retain a sense of control over their daily lives,” Dr Shankar explained. “Independence in later life is closely linked to dignity, self-worth and psychological wellbeing.”. “An arrangement where family members are nearby but boundaries are respected often promotes both emotional safety and healthy ageing,” Dr Shankar added.. View this post on Instagram. Why parents often prioritise their children’s comfort. According to Dr Shankar, this behaviour is rooted in long-standing psychological patterns formed during years of parenting.. “Many parents develop a self-sacrificing mindset over time because caregiving has been a central part of their identity,” Dr Shankar said. “For years, their focus was on prioritising their children’s needs over their own.”. Story continues below this ad. Over time, this behaviour becomes deeply internalised. “Psychologically, the nurturing and attachment instincts of parents do not disappear with age,” she explained. “Even when children become adults, many parents still feel responsible for their comfort and happiness.”. “In many cultures, including in India, parents are conditioned to put family before themselves,” Dr Shankar noted. “While this reflects deep love and care, families should gently encourage ageing parents to prioritise their own comfort and wellbeing too.”. How the regular
