Nakuul Mehta, along with his wife Jankee, recently spoke about everyday parenting language on their podcast, The Indian Parent Pod. During the conversation, the couple highlighted several common phrases they believe parents should avoid saying to children.. Among the examples they discussed were statements like “boys don’t cry”, playful phrases such as “nangu-pangu” or “shame shame”, asking children to exchange hugs for treats, forcing them to share toys without considering their feelings, and repeatedly telling them to “be a good boy” or “good girl”.. While many of these expressions are used casually in households, psychologists say the words adults use around children can shape how they understand emotions, their bodies, and personal boundaries.. According to Dr Munia Bhattacharya, Senior Consultant in Clinical Psychology at Marengo Asia Hospitals, Gurugram, conversations around parenting language are useful, but they also need to be viewed realistically.. View this post on Instagram. Parenting does not have to be perfect. Dr Bhattacharya notes that parents often try to follow ideal parenting advice while juggling multiple responsibilities. “I think conversations like these are useful because they bring attention to children’s emotional well-being,” said Dr Bhattacharya. “At the same time, everyday parenting happens in the middle of work pressure, household responsibilities, and family expectations.”. Because of these pressures, many parents already feel overwhelmed by the idea of doing everything “right”. “In my experience as a psychologist, parenting does not have to be perfect to be effective,” she said. “What matters more is awareness. Even small changes in how parents speak to their children about emotions, boundaries, and self-worth can make a meaningful difference.”. She adds that children primarily need emotional safety at home. “Children do not need perfect parents. What they really need is an emotionally safe environment where they feel heard, respected, and accepted,” Dr Bhattacharya explained.. ALSO READ | Nakuul Mehta opens up about the ‘pain of being the second preferred parent’; ways to rebuild bond. Why telling boys not to cry can affect emotional health. One of the most common messages boys hear growing up is that they should not cry or show vulnerability. Dr Bhattacharya says this messaging is widespread and often comes from well-meaning parents who want their sons to appear strong.. Story continues below this ad. “Many boys grow up hearing phrases like ‘don’t cry’, ‘be strong’, or ‘boys don’t show weakness’,” she said. “Usually parents say this with good intentions because they want their sons to be resilient.”. However, the long-term impact can be different. “What actually happens is that boys start learning that certain emotions are not acceptable,” Dr Bhattacharya explained. “Instead of understanding their feelings, they push them down.”. ?
